How I make pockets of calm at home
One of the reasons I started Sojourn was because I'm always looking for places to cocoon. It's the introvert in me. Whether I'm at home or in a cafe, I'll seek out the cosy spot that gives me the feeling of privacy and safety if I need it.
At home, it's more about creating a calm space to be in. It can be tricky because a home is a home, full of humans and all their things: My unwashed dishes poking out of the sink, a tuft of dog hair next to the fridge, and the hand wash I keep meaning to refill.
Knowing this, I try to create pockets of calm rather than expecting the entire place to be a zen den. This is how I do it.
The texture of calm
I once heard Kevin McCloud, host of the TV show Grand Designs, say that it's a good idea to spend money on the things in your home that you actually touch. Think drawer handles and the fabric of a couch. If it's cheap, you'll feel it every day.
He's got a point about materials and texture don't you think?
I've started to notice the textures that I find grounding and calming--and keep in contact with them. It's the unglazed portion of my Robert Gordon coffee cup. When I press the rough edge against my palm, it makes me think of sinking my hands into freshly turned earth. And it's the wool blanket I like to wrap around my feet while I watch Netflix.
A window into calm
Sometimes all I need is a small space to gaze into and getaway for a little while. During the pandemic this was my bedroom window. I'd look out over the neighbour's roof to the gum tree tucked just behind it. It would sway left to right, giving me a slow pendulum to lock my eyes onto. I now
My other trick is to place art that I find calming and peaceful in spaces where I tend to sit down. Kind of like I'm inviting myself togo and rest. As I write this, there's a large black and white photograph of the ocean in front of me. Every so often I look up and look at the waves rolling in, and the silhouette of surfers beyond the break. My whole body lets go a notch when I lock eyes with it.
Rituals to come back to
The odd thing about being gentle with yourself is that it requires vigilance. You have to be tough and insist on calm to enjoy a soft quality in your life. Strange, don't you think? The way I navigate this is to create rituals in my life so I'm not just hoping for a pocket of calm, I'm creating recurring pockets of time and space for it to happen.
Often this is 20 minutes in the morning where I spend some time journaling on the couch. Or a weekly sage burn when I just want to feel like the space is cleansed. They're all little things that I look forward to and can be done even in a very busy week.
Not expecting a zen den
One of my favourite books as a kid was The Little Book of Calm. I suspect I loved it because of its miniature size and the dreamy pictures inside. The Little Book of Calm made it sound like if you got enough of their tips right your whole existence would feel serene. Me? I'm hoping for small, deliberate, daily doses of it. That feels more doable, don't you think?